I've Changed.

" The wheel of change moves on and those who were down go up and those who were up go down."
~Jawarharlal Nehru (what a name)

So it's been...6 months? Since I last blogged. And much have changed in 6 months, including a new best friend, being the one who does the dumping in a relationship, a new artistic approach, a birthday (I'm 15 now!! :D), new musical tastes, musical rejection, new books I cherish...and much more. When you get older, years seem much shorter because there are more of them in your life, but still so much happens, more than you may realize. And with every new experience, you change. For instance, I was a hopeless romantic until this past relationship. I liked him before I really knew him, and as I got to know him I liked him less, but he remained "crazy about me" (his words). He practically stalked me, and I had to be pretty brutal to get him off my back. God, what an awful situation. Anyway, what I learned from that was you need to trust your intuition. Also you should get to know someone before you agree to go out with them...which should have been obvious from the get-go. Sigh.

Art: I'm done with pre-planning my art ideas. I really only did that so I'd have a use for my cute little vintage-looking butterfly notebook, but it never worked because the inspiration for it would pass. My best pieces were done the moment I thought of the idea, like my new painting Written in the Clouds or my collage-d coke bottle, both shown above. I know not all of my "spontaneous" ones will look great, but everyone has some clunkers before their masterpieces...

Music: I have new favorite songs every week (This week: Cute by Stephan... something, Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, and Who dat Girl by Flo Rida&Akon), but here are some that will never get old for me:
Firework by Katy Perry (makes me feel all happy inside each time I hear it! (:)
Wonderwall by Oasis
Unwritten by Natasha Beddingfield
Breathe 2AM by Anna Nalick (which I'm doing a presentation about tuesday...scared D:)
And more that I can't think of right now...

Books: My favorite book and my third favorite book (after A Tree Grows in Brooklyn) were discovered during these past 6 months and are as follows:
( third favorite) If I Stay by Gayle Forman; ***** out of *****; This book is beautiful. It's about this cello prodigy who gets into a car accident. Her amazing family is all dead and she is on the brink of death herself, but she gets to decide if she lives or not. As she weighs her decision, she recalls memories of her charmed life. Though my description doesn't do it justice, the book is really amazing, with vividly drawn and awesome characters.

(first favorite!!) Dash& Lily's Book of Dares by Rachael Cohn and David Levithan; ***** out of *****; I absolutely loved this book, because it combines all my favorite elements; Love (romance), living, New York City, humor, spunk-tastic characters...and it was beautifully done. The girl Lily leaves a red moleskin notebook in the Strand bookstore with a series of tasks (dares) to see if a guy comes along and completes them, which happens to be a guy named Dash. Throughout the book these two pass this notebook with written dares and their dreams, hopes, and rants. Even though they connect through the notebook, their real selves couldn't be more opposite. Lily is a caring, happy-go-lucky cute nerd who loves Christmas, her family, and dogs, while Dash is an angsty, book-loving hipster who hates Christmas, resents his family, and prefers to be alone. I really relate to Lily because she has very similar traits to me and the traits I don't have I wish I did. And Dash sounds like the perfect guy, albeit a bit unrealistic for a straight guy. The story is very funny at some points, but very deep at others, which makes it the perfect book for me. I highly recommend it (:

And now I leave you with a final statement: The sky is laden with stars and looks gorgeous (:
Love, Allie

"I tell myself all the words he surely meant to say."

-Sara Bareilles, Between the Lines

I love this, since it's painfully true. The act of reassurance. I do this, since I want to be a dreamer...but then I question myself, because I also want to be a realist. Mass of contradictions...

I also love this because it's sang by Sara Bareilles, a real musician. I was reading something about her that described her music as "angsty love songs". I like the sound of that, which is why this blog is called that. Angsty Love. Angsty Love. Angsty Love. Anyway, the other thing brilliant about her is her persona. She's a strong, confident, beautiful woman who believes in her music. I love love love that. After being dumped, and then left out way too often, that's the big change I want to make in myself.

Art: "Bound": I was inspired by the "My Immortal" video where Amy Lee has her hands and feet wrapped up in strandy cloth. Also trees, but they always inspire me...So a hand...no, arm...is tied to a tree with that same strandy cloth. Only, the cloth has words on it in scratchy print (I know what I mean by that...), forming a bunch of quotes about something. This image definitely says something...I just don't know what. Yet. So know that it's not just some textbook picture I thought would look cool, I promise I'll get back to you on the symbolism.

That's it for now. LOVE, allea

there are about ten Love's in this post. Well, now eleven...Toodles!!

Rant!!!!!! + other random stuffff...

"What you have become is the price you paid to get what you used to want."

-Mignon McLaughlin

I like that quote. It spoke to me because when I was younger I always wanted to be a teenager (thanks to Disney Channel...ugh I hate you now). I would try to dress and talk like one, plus read about them, at around the age of eight. I'm now fourteen, and while I like the person I've become, I still wish I hadn't wasted my younger years looking into the future instead of enjoying being the age I actually was. I can never get those years back.

Which is why I am sooooo sick of everybody, i.e. parents, teachers, "authority", telling me to map out my future. They are telling me to pick out the college I want to go to, my career, my retirement home (jk, not really), yada yada yada. I refuse to even start thinking about them. I was reading this book called Hardcore Zen by Brad Warner (seriously, amazing book) and it said something about how this "future" concept is only in our minds. The future may never be, it's only an idea. So that got me to thinking that if you spend your entire life looking forward, sooner or later there won't be a forward...life will just stop. Then you had wasted your entire life.

I realllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyy don't want that to happen to me. I want to live....and my idea of living is NOT the American dream of a high-paying job, big house, shiny car, or children. It's traveling, creating, loving, wondering, eating, marveling...and I will Start. Right. Now.

ANYWHO...

Books WTF by Peter Lerangis; ** out of *****; I didn't like this book all that much...it just didn't suit my fancy (ha). In reference to the awesome cover art, a collage of strange sorts, and the dramatic, thrilling back cover paragraph, it was kind of a let-down. Won't go into it any further.

Art

Completed: "Classic Mural" and "Get Higher". They look okay, I think...

New: "Singin' the Blues" a girl struck by tragedy plays her acoustic guitar in a coffee shop of sorts. She sits on a stool, spotlight shining on her and hair hangs in her face as she sings with passion. She is crying, as are the audience members if I decide to include them. The interesting part of this piece will be the many shades of blue, no other colors (maybe no others...). The symbolism is Music and it's impact on people.

Theory

Love Songs; when you are not in love, there are too many. When you are in love, there aren't enough.

I hope this is original, and not a quote I've seen and forgotten about...I'd indulge in this theory further, but me thinks I've already written toooo much...

Love, Allea

New-ish Ideas!!!!

"The bleeding heart is an artist."

-Pink Floyd

The ideas I'm about to share aren't all that new, I had come up with them awhile ago, but they aren't completed...some not even STARTED!!! So, in order from oldest to newest, here they are!!!

"Urban Suburbia": an awesome, indie guy from the city walks down a tiny town, such as Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania. Quaint, unassuming, quiet. This guy carries bongos strapped to his back and a backpack in his hand (tiny irony). He must look out of place in a land polluted by white trash, Republican, narrow-minded, redneck common folk, and skater scum. This is all about the difference between Urban & Suburban peeps.

"Giving Color": A boy is bent over a drawing. Colored pencils surround him. Most of the picture needs to be black&white, but not the drawing in the picture; this will be extremely colorful, most likely abstract. Then the color will radiate off of the drawing, touching everything, like the desk, the boy's hair, his tie-dye shirt (especially the shirt...awesome effect). But only in splotches. The symbolism is that the human spirit brings color to life. I'm still waiting for the right model, otherwise I would've started it already (I'll know my model when I see him)

"Hippie Thoughts": This one is actually a lot of photography. So I draw John Lennon's face (that part is completed), with little smudges of color on it. Then I must take a bunch of pictures with the peace sign in them. For example, a finger peace sign out a moving car window. Things like that. Lastly, (transitions!!) I'll arrange all my shots into a little collage in a thought bubble over Lennon's head.

"Come on get higher": This is based off the song "Come on get higher" by Matt Nathanson, plus the cover of Petunia, a sketched hot-air balloon. So there will be a note clenched in two hands, with a drawing of a sketchy hot-air balloon, reading, "'Get high off Life' -P :)". In the corner, there will be the lyrics to that song (I hope hope hope that doesn't violate any copyright laws). The note should have teardrops and the hand will be inked with I Love You. There's more I want to do with this; I'll figure it out. For now I want to keep the viewer guessing... Is it heartbreak or drug overdose??

"Classic Murals": a grand piano sits on a sidewalk of some city street, against a brick wall. The wall is painted with a giant mural showcasing peace and love and unity. This This symbolizes how the piano, though reserved and old, reflects off the bold mural.

"Sittin' on a Cloud": a girl with flowing blue (yes, blue) hair sits on a cloud and stares at the industrialized world beneath her. A world full of highways, cars, buildings, fast-food joints, big houses, apartments...fast moving people worrying about frivolous things. Somebody will be floating up to the cloud with a regular balloon as well. This is about people who are "above" all that stupidity, people who are understanding what life is really about.

Well that's it for now. I've had so many more ideas that didn't make the cut, though I may be able to build upon them later.... :)

Completed Artwork!!!

"We're all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone who's weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."

-Unknown

The quotes aren't necessarily going to make any sense to the rest of the blog, btw. I just want them up there (: .

So since I'm just now starting this blog, I want to keep it up to date with the artwork I've already done. So, here's the completed:

"Just Relax": a colorful coffee cup with elements of a creative environment (like a coffee shop) flowing out of the cup, like love, music, peace, happiness, fun...represented with things like a sun, fireworks, etc.

"Bird-like Friends": a girl shares her art with a parrot in a top hat. Loosely symbolizes the connection between artists and nature.

"Ribbons & Lace": a hand reaches down with a bracelet full of every-color ribbons. The hand has a tattoo of a crazy, funky bird. SELF-EXPRESSION!!!

"Memories": polaroid photographs are hung on a tree branch. The photographs are of an album cover, converse sneakers, john lennon, a coffee shop logo, and a note. They are all little personal reminders of an ex-boyfriend of whom I still care for...:'(

"Tattooed Fantasies": (I looove drawing tattoos on the body) a "sunshine flower" (a flower with the bud of a sun) is tattooed on a foot nestled in grass. The rays of the flower extend beyond the ankle and into the sky. In the grass, little cartoon bugs stare in awe at the tattoo. I'd say this very-loosely has to do with the controversy of tattoos; artistic or trashy??

"Lonely": a boy and a girl sit on a bench viewed from behind. The bench is half crazy and colorful on the girl's side, half plain and black&white on the guy's side. Same goes for the backgrounds; the guy's scene is an old building while it's raining (done in black ink), and the girl's scene is a purple tree looking out over water and a gorgeous orange sky. Imagination vs. Reality.

Those are the ones I've finished and take pride in. Well, there are a few I like that aren't in my sketchbook Petunia (hehe), like my peace tree (a tree with peace signs for leaves) and jeans with LOVE threaded in them, plus LOVE formed in the sky by geese...

Yayz.

Hiya!!

"Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us and the world will be as one."

-John Lennon

I hope to start every post off with a quote, since I keep tons of them in a little book. This particular quote is one of my favorites because it is spoken by John Lennon (I iz a fan of ze BEATLES!!!) and makes a lovely statement about peace, which I strongly believe in.

This is my first post, so I guess I should talk about who I am and what I have to say, before I can write what I really want to. (Plus I'z gotsta go to beddd soon since I has 2 get up earrrllly in the morning!!) Sooo...

The point of this blog is to share my art ideas with the world. I am a tiny bit worried the ideas will be stolen, but I'm not showing u the artwork, which means nothing will look EXACTLY like mine. I'm big on originality and creativity. My style of art?? A little hard to explain. I guess u could say it's abstract and realism combined; it's definitely symbolic (for me, at least). I keep wanting to say it's surrealism, but probably only because that sounds cool...

I may talk about other things, too, such as theatre, writing, and books. Those are my biggest interests along with art. With theatre, I may talk about brilliant plays I've seen or ones I've been in (which may or may not be so brilliant). Right now, I'm rehearsing an improvisational bit with Commedia dell'arte (Sp?), or Italian comedy. With writing, I'll also share ideas. See, I have a book idea, but, judging by my past pieces, I probably won't stick with it. I write what's on my mind at the current moment or based on my mood, which is always changing rapidly. And then with books I'll say what I'm reading and my opinion about it...

Okay...about me. I want to try to keep most of my personal life out of this, which will be hard, since I'm very open. But you already know about my obvious interests and in due time you'll learn about my less-obvious interests, like coffee shops, thunderstorms, etc. Here's my knowledge of who I am (I'm not ENTIRELY sure yet who that is...)

Traits I have and like: artsy, unique, passionate, creative, loving, peaceful, romantic, dreamy, thoughtful....

Traits I have and dislike: self-concious (sp?), shy, stressed, vain, selfish, over-emotional, worry-wart, defensive, sensitive...

Traits I wish I had: free-spirited, daring, spontaneous, confident, carefree, chilled...

Now u know.

So my blog may not have much angst or love...I hope it does, but I do that all the time; I put a title on things before I really know what it will be about (kinda like labeling, which I have a rant on...but I'll save that 4 later...). Also, and this if for me, I may not have any followers, but I'm still going to blog. Because I can :)

Love, angst, & PEACE!!!